Inconvenient Cheese

Oh, pickled cheese,

you aim to please,

but if you could,

don't make me sneeze.

Oh, peppered chips

in queso dips,

right down my shirt

your cheese just drips.

Oh, mustard swiss,

you are not bliss.

You make lunch break

a time to miss.

Oh, old bar joke,

you moldy bloke,

my humor sense

you just now broke......(because the joke is cheese....get it?....)

The Wild Hamster

Somewhere across the Western Sea,

beneath wet tufts of moss,

a wild hamster lies in wait,

his prey: an albatross.

Now you might think that bird too big

for such a little guy,

but wild hamsters know no bounds.

Some even learn to fly.

But albatross, for him, will not

be dinner on this night.

For now comes near a zebra goat

who's looking for a fight.

And oh, such battle would they wage,

that hamster and the goat,

if only they were not divided

by a four-foot moat.

The branch where once the bird did sit

is without bird once more.

The wild hamster sighs then walks

out to the grocery store.

Childhood: A Brief Look Back.

Oh little blade of grass,

you sound like a kazoo.

I've never owned a domino

That was the color blue.

I sometimes miss the simple bliss

Of Velcro on my shoe.

I nearly hurled in kindergarten

The day they made beef stew.